Wednesday, September 25, 2013

How I Was A Toolbag Yesterday

Today I was going to try to write a Unifying Theme Of NeuroQueer (and I will; I seriously will) but something more important came up on the way. I found out I'd made this totally toolbag move.
[Visual is a photo of a toolbag. A bag full of tools. Yep. Toolbag.]

Fixing that takes precedence in terms of triage, of the doing-it-nowness.

Here's what it is.  I was trying to describe what a bad idea I thought it was to stigmatize people who need to take meds, and act like they should just, what, not take meds, and I used an analogy something like, yo, throw away your wheelchair, just walk why don't you.

What I meant for that to convey was ZOMG, nobody would EVER say ANYTHING remotely resembling that kind of remark, which is totally outré, beyond the pale, unrealistic, etc., haha good one Ib you are great at making up exaggerations, ad absurdum follies of delicious ah never mind.

But here is what I found out. PEOPLE REALLY SAY THAT KIND OF THING. In real life, yeah, and people who use wheelchairs are sometimes encouraged to believe that using the wheelchairs they need is "lazy" and stuff like that.  Hand to heart, I am telling you what was told to me by people who know the truth in ways I never knew it, because I was not there myself needing a wheelchair.  This is real life.  This is why we listen to people who know.  I am devastated to know it, and it gives me a new piece of knowledge I want to pass on to everyone there is.

So the analogy turned out to be sort of precise, and UNBELIEVABLY HORRIBLE at the same time.

Everybody in the world, I am sorry to have used such language construction, and now that I know the truth about it, you can bet I never will again.

I will probably speak foolishly and toolishly, but I can always be corrected.  Because while "You know what we should have Grace teach? SOCIAL SKILLS!" was said by the officers of no university ever I also hope they are also never going to say "Grace doesn't care."  I care.

Just as an aside, I must point out here that it is very silly and also inaccurate when people say, "Agh, 'political correctness' makes it so I can't say anything at all, woe is me," etc.  Because look, I say things all the time, and most of the time they are not this ass-tastic, but when they are, a friend will tell me (or sometimes a really hostile person will tell me, but hey, if they have better knowledge than me, they are still helping me, so thanks be to them) and voilà! Here I get to know more and learn to act like (and, I hope, turn into) a better person in one fell swoop.

So there it is.

Thank you for helping me, and thank you for listening again, and thanks for being you!



  1. Right on! Just so well said. Thanks.

  2. You are a treasure, Ibby, an honest-to-goodness down-to-earth person who makes mistakes and reflects on them. Me, too!!!!

  3. ((Hugs)) and appreciation and thank you for sharing your learnings and awesomeness!

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